


But Memories Last Forever

by sakarrie



Category: Supernatural
Genre: African Dream Root, But it's in dreamscape, Dreams and Nightmares, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Episode: s05e04 The End, Episode: s06e21 Let It Bleed, Episode: s06e22 The Man Who Knew Too Much, Everyone is whumped and everyone is comforted okay, Gen, Hell Trauma, Hurt Castiel (Supernatural), Hurt Dean Winchester, Hurt Sam Winchester, Hurt/Comfort, John Winchester's A+ Parenting, Protective Castiel (Supernatural), Protective Dean Winchester, Protective Sam Winchester, Sam's Lucifer Visions, Season/Series 11, Team Free Will (Supernatural), Team Free Will Big Bang 2020 (Supernatural), This is basically an excuse to write the nightmares trope, This is just an excuse for TFW bonding through pain and bandaid-on-bullet-wound therapy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-24
Updated: 2020-09-24
Packaged: 2021-03-07 17:26:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 10,209
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26611399
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sakarrie/pseuds/sakarrie
Summary: Dean and Cas come back from a fruitless lead to find Sam the latest victim of the hunt. Determined to stop it before it can kill Sam, they enter into his dreams, but as they hop one from nightmare to the next, it becomes obvious that the creature is hunting them too.Or: An excuse for TFW h/c and a million tropes thrown together.
Relationships: Castiel & Dean Winchester, Castiel & Dean Winchester & Sam Winchester, Castiel & Sam Winchester, Dean Winchester & Sam Winchester, Past Lisa Braeden/Dean Winchester (mentioned)
Comments: 10
Kudos: 90
Collections: Team Free Will Big Bang: Collection 2020





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey everyone! 
> 
> I'm so excited to be posting this fic! It's been a long time coming, so I'm not going to delay long, but it's been a pleasure to participate in the Team Free Will Big Bang this year! 
> 
> Also, big thanks for my beta, Kae, who literally is an angellic English master. Not only does she catch my countless mistakes, but she also provides a lot of suggestions and encouragement. You're awesome, Kae!!
> 
> Another big thanks to my artist, Gio! You can find their gorgeous artwork [here at their masterpost](https://sketching-fox.tumblr.com/post/630162917535432705/my-arts-done-for-the-fic-but-memories-last)   
> And check out their other amazing work on their [tumblr](https://sketching-fox.tumblr.com/) or [twitter](https://twitter.com/Gio_Gui). Definitely check them out because they're SUPER talented and I'm honored they wanted to create art for me!
> 
> Alright, now on with the story!

Dean glanced around the room in which they expected to find the victims, uncertain how to take this. They had found the victims alright, but they were all dead, the room devoid of the machinery Dean had come to expect from djinn lairs. Had it heard they were coming and moved locations? 

Dean flicked his gaze over to Cas, who was examining one of the bodies with an equally confused expression. When his friend walked over to another body without saying anything, Dean asked, “What is it? They’re all dead, right?”

He had already checked them all for pulses, but Cas might have sensed something that Dean hadn’t picked up on. Cas might still be weak from Rowena’s attack dog spell, but he seemed to be slowly regaining his strength.

After examining the last body, Cas finally looked up and stated, “There are no needle marks on their bodies.”

Dean looked over the closest body’s arm and saw his friend was right. “Maybe this djinn is a really fast eater?” Dean said, not at all believing that, but not having anything else come to mind.

Cas shook his head. “I don’t think any djinn could devour the entire soul that quickly.” 

“So what?” Dean asked, frustrated. His breath hitched in alarm. “You don’t think it’s Amara, do you?”

To Dean’s relief, Cas confidently shook his head. “If it were Amara there would be other signs of death. These people’s life forces were taken as well as their souls.”

“But it’s not a djinn,” Dean growled. This was supposed to be an easy case. Just a quick gig to help Cas get back on his feet and out of the bunker. But nothing seemed to be working out for them. As soon as they had hit town, Sam had gotten sick, waking in cold sweats every time he tried to sleep. As usual, Sam refused to talk about the dream, but based on the “God visions” Sam thought he was having, Dean figured he didn’t need to press to know what was triggering the nightmares. 

Cas had offered to heal Sam of the fever, but he had declined. Cas’s grace was pretty unreliable right now anyway, and they couldn’t afford to exert it on an overexcited cold. As much as Dean hated seeing his brother like this, he couldn’t exactly argue with his brother's logic. After all, Cas wasn’t at his best either. 

So the plan had been to gank this thing so they could go home with an easy win and take it easy for a few days. Sam had already been pissy about having to stay home, but Dean wasn’t gonna just let his wobbly brother accidentally stumble into the djinn. They’d both had enough experience with djinn realities to know they were never fun. Dean didn’t even want to imagine what a djinn reality mixed with a fever dream would do.

Cas stood up and brushed off his clothes. “Their bodies are completely unharmed. Aside from the lack of needle marks, their deaths line up with the feeding of a djinn.” He pursed his lips in contemplation. “They do show signs of extreme sleep deprivation, though.”

Dean glanced at the bodies still littering the ground. Now that Cas had pointed it out, Dean could see that the more recent bodies had clear bags under their eyes and sunken in cheeks. Normally he would’ve just copped that up to their souls being slowly stolen from their bodies, but if Cas said it was sleep deprivation, then Dean would take his word.

Turning away from the bodies, Dean started toward the door, suddenly very eager to get back to Sam. “Come on,” he tossed over his shoulder to Cas. “We should report the bodies to the cops and head home.” 

They headed home quickly, Dean’s nerves fraying more with every minute. What if the creature had left the place to go after Sam? The motel was warded against djinns, but Sam’s fever had been pretty high when they left. If he had gone out of the room in a fevered haze or if this wasn’t a djinn after all...

They pulled up outside their motel and Dean was relieved to see the outline of a figure lying in bed through the curtain. Locking up his baby, Dean and Cas walked over to the room and entered. 

Sam didn’t look any better than before, his cheeks red and face sweaty, blankets in a tangle by his ankles. Dean sighed and glanced at Cas. “Can you check him over?” Dean asked. Every part of him wished that Cas could just heal his brother now, but he knew that wouldn’t do them any good. Unless Sam’s fever got dangerously high, they couldn’t afford to waste Cas’s grace.

Cas pressed two fingers against Sam’s forehead gently and closed his eyes. Dean felt the need to close his eyes too, anxiety building inside him. He knew that this was just a normal stomach bug, but ever since the trials, basic illnesses had seemed far more sinister. 

Cas frowned, closing his eyes tighter and Dean’s panic rose. “What?” he asked, knowing that he was probably interrupting Cas’s concentration but not able to help himself. “What’s wrong?”

Cas stepped back, looking at Sam with concern. “This sleep is not natural. I can sense something else occupying Sam’s mind.”

Dean’s eyes widened, looking to where the untouched wards were. Even if it wasn’t a djinn, they had put up some all-purpose wards that protected from most basic creatures they hunted. “But how could it get in here?”

Cas examined the room, seeming to come to the same conclusion as Dean. “It must not be a djinn after all.”

Dean cursed, suddenly feeling extremely frustrated that he had left his sick little brother here on his own. They should’ve just waited an extra day for Sam to get better. “Can you tell what it is?”

Cas shook his head. “There’s something familiar about it, but I cannot place what. Whatever it is, it is currently in your brother.”

Dean didn’t like the sound of that. What did that even mean? Was this thing possessing Sam? Or was it just keeping his mind busy so that it could do whatever it wanted with his body? 

Before Dean could demand more, Sam’s face began to twitch, morphing into one of distress.

Even if there wasn’t some hostile creature in Sam’s mind, Dean knew the signs of a bad nightmare. Taking Sam’s shoulders, Dean started to shake him. “Sam! Sam, you gotta wake up! Whatever you’re seeing, it’s not real, okay? Wake up!”

Sam’s body was limp in his arms and Dean tried hard not to focus on all the other times he’d held a limp Sam. Those times, Sam didn’t have a pained expression on his face and Dean backed off as he heard his brother let out a sound close to a whimper.

Dean laid Sam back down, spinning to face Cas. “Can’t you wake him up? Do a reverse sleep touch thing?”

Cas looked at Dean, a sliver of hurt in his eyes and deep down, Dean knew that if Cas could, he already would have, but Dean was running out of ideas here. “Fine,” Dean said, pushing himself up to stand straight. “This thing is in his mind right? Controlling his dreams?” 

Cas nodded, uncertain of where Dean was going with this.

Dean gave a grin that didn’t quite reach his eyes. “Then we’ll just have to join him.”

_____

“Alright, ready to do this?” Dean asked, not at all eager to drink the foul concoction in his hand but ready to gank whatever was preventing Sam from waking up.

Cas eyed his own cup warily. “I would greatly prefer entering through my normal methods, but as that is not an option, I will do what I must. Are you certain this ‘African Dream Root’ works on angels?”

Dean shrugged. “Nope. But I don’t have any other ideas, so if you want to come with me, this is our best shot.”

Cas gave a short nod and Dean raised his drink like a toast. “Cheers,” he said, and gulped the thick potion down. Beside him, Cas did the same.

The transition to being in the dream was practically unnoticeable and Dean glanced over at Cas. “We here?”

Cas nodded, glancing around the room, deep lines creasing his forehead. “This is definitely no longer our regular plane.” 

That was all Dean needed and he started walking over to the door. “Come on, let’s go find Sam.”

The moment the door opened, Sam’s pleading voice came from outside. “No, wait! Dad—!”

The voice was cut off with a thud and Cas and Dean exchanged a brief look of concern before rushing out of the room.

The scene that greeted them made something in Dean’s stomach drop. Sam was laying in the grass, staring up at their father. Their father, who had a gun pointed right at Sam’s forehead. Sam’s face was bloody, already beginning to bruise around one eye, and Dean knew exactly what had cut his brother’s voice off a minute ago.

The familiar fury from someone laying a hand on Sam welled up inside Dean and he forgot all about who it was pointing his gun at Sam. Besides, it had been a long time since he would just blindly obey his father’s commands. Not to mention, this monster was definitely not his dad.

He started to move forward, more than happy to teach this monster what happened when you messed with Sam Winchester, but a hand on his arm stopped him.

Dean jerked his arm out of the grasp, turning to see Cas’s stern face watching John carefully. “What are you doing?” he snapped.

“That’s not the baku or your real father, but that is the real Sam. There’s no telling what damage him dying in his dreamscape would have on his physical and mental health. We can’t risk it.” 

The look of disgust on Cas’s face made it clear that he would have no problem with Dean pummeling this figure otherwise, and Dean forced himself to calm down. “Fine.”

They walked closer, careful not to spook either of them, but still approaching as quickly as they could.

“Kneel.” John’s voice rang out, face hard in a look Dean knew well. That was the expression he wore whenever he was about to put down a monster. He was wanting to do this execution style.

Based on the way Sam’s face twisted, he knew the look and what it meant as well. Regardless of that, he pushed himself to his knees. “Please, Dad. It’s me, Sam. I’m your _son_ —”

His voice was cut off by the sound of John’s safety clicking off. “No you’re not,” John spat. “You stopped being my son the moment that yellow-eyed monster bled into your mouth. And now you’re having these, what, visions? Drinking demon blood? Letting the devil himself loose on the world? How far are you going to let this go?”

Sam’s eyes were moist now, shaking his head as if to deny John’s words. 

“I should’ve known Dean wouldn’t be able to do it. You’ve been using him as a shield from karma for far too long,” John continued. “I should have taken you out the moment I realized the demon was in that nursery for you.”

Sam’s chest was heaving, and Dean had had enough. Reaching the clearing where his family was, Dean shouted, “Snap out of it, Sam! That’s not Dad.”

John didn’t so much twitch, but Sam jerked violently, his eyes jumping between his friends and the gun his father was pointing at him. “Dean? Cas?” His voice was soft, scared that being too loud would make his father shoot.

Dean took a tentative step forward, backed by Cas. “Sam, this isn’t real. You have to wake up.”

Sam still looked confused, the few tear tracks drying on his cheeks and making him look far younger than his actual age. 

“There’s a creature forcing you to live out your fears, Sam. We’re currently in your mind,” Cas said, moving closer as well.

Sam still looked confused and scared but also less uncertain. He turned back to where the figure of his Dad stood, gun up and ready, not having reacted at all to what was going on. His eyes were still hard and Sam swallowed thickly before slowly making his way to his feet.

“Stay down!” John barked, but Sam didn’t stop moving.

Wiping the emotion off his face, he forced himself to look the nightmare in the eye. “You’re not him, and you can’t hurt me,” Sam said, straightening up fully.

Dean moved forward, seeing the twitch on John’s face that meant he was about to go for the kill, and Cas yelled, “Wait, Sam! We don’t—”

They were cut off by a bang, but everyone remained standing. Sam had been able to jerk John’s gun arm to the side, weakening his father’s grip. With a heavy fist to John’s head, Sam knocked the gun away from his hands and watched as he fell to the ground, boneless.

Cas immediately moved closer to inspect Sam. Pressing two fingers to his head, Cas let out a sigh of relief. “It seems like these injuries are minor enough that only the headache should carry through to reality. I would not expect the same from a bullet wound.” He glared at Sam, who shifted uncomfortably.

“It broke the dream, didn’t it?” Sam replied and heard a small huff from where Dean was now examining his face as well. Sam swatted at his hands. “So, what is this? It feels too... basic for a nightmare reality.”

Cas nodded. “It definitely is not a nightmare djinn. However, the bodies bore no sign of their life energy being consumed by a djinn when Dean and I found them.”

Sam didn’t seem satisfied with that answer, but he didn’t ask further as Cas went to grab the gun from where it sat uncomfortably near John’s prone form. Dean looked around the forest clearing where they stood, the motel building completely gone. “Come on, let’s get moving. Whatever it is probably will notice that Sam’s no longer occupied soon.”

No one argued, so they started toward the form of a building they could see in the distance.

As they passed between two particularly thick trees, their surroundings seemed to rearrange, the forestry taking on different shapes and sizes than before. Sam felt the swelling on his face shrink and raised his fingers to find that the cuts on his face were also gone. Sam saw Dean and Cas looking back at him, both equally relieved by their disappearance. The building remained, however, so the trio marched on. They reached another clearing right in front of the building and paused, noticing a tall figure in white examining a rose. The area was cluttered with overgrown plants and statues. It probably had once been a beautiful place, but now it seemed wild and decayed.

The figure turned around and Sam flinched. Beside him, Dean took a sharp breath and Cas tensed, raising the gun even though it wouldn’t do anything against this enemy.

Because, while the face of the figure belonged to Sam, the expression was all Lucifer. 

It was his sympathetic face, the one he wore during the cage when explaining how it was necessary to torture Sam and that he had brought it on himself.

The devil smiled at the group, condescending pity oozing from his expression. Lucifer scanned the trio before his eyes settled on Dean, and Sam felt the need to move in front of his brother. 

“I see you brought friends this time.” The voice wasn’t as playful as Lucifer often was; instead, he seemed distantly intrigued. He started walking toward Dean, and Sam didn’t fight his urge this time, using his shoulder to keep Dean firmly behind him.

Lucifer smirked, reaching an arm forward and a shot rang out. Everyone froze as Lucifer glanced down at his chest where blood was starting to pour. When he looked back up at Cas, who held the smoking gun, his face twisted into something far more sinister.

Lucifer’s eyes flashed dangerously and, with a twitch of his fingers, the gun went flying away from Cas. He moved forward impossibly fast and caught Cas’s throat in his hand, lifting him a few inches off the ground. 

Cas made a gargled sound and Lucifer chuckled. “You seem to be missing some grace there, kiddo.”

Both Dean and Sam started to approach, but a single snap of Lucifer’s fingers held them in place. Lucifer removed his hand from Castiel’s throat, but Cas continued to choke as Lucifer used his power to keep the pressure present. 

He walked over to the brothers and Sam closed his eyes in anticipation of pain, but it didn’t come. When he opened his eyes, his own face gave him a cocky smile, but the body was turned toward Dean. “Don’t worry, Sam. I already have my meatsuit. You mean nothing to me anymore.”

The relief was short-lived though as Lucifer turned his attention back on Dean. “Which makes me wonder, why would you bring them with you? We both know how this ends, Dean.” 

Dean glared at Lucifer, wishing he could punch that smug expression right off his face, but he couldn’t deny an absolute terror building in his gut. He hadn’t felt this afraid in years, but he couldn’t seem to calm it down. He could remember what this was, though. Last time he’d felt like this was when he’d just been infected with Ghost Sickness. “You aren’t real,” he spat. “You can’t do anything to me.” He glanced to where his angel friend was choking and set his jaw. “Can’t hurt Cas either. Nice trick though.”

“Dean...” Sam warned, clearly not a fan of where this was going. 

“Oh, can’t I?” Lucifer sneered. With a jerk of his head, Cas’s airway was free again. Sam let out a sigh of relief but the feeling was gone as he and Cas were forcibly pulled to Lucifer’s side. “Maybe I should remind you what little power you actually hold, Dean. Your choices mean nothing in the long run. As you should remember,” His voice took on a different tone, as if he was reenacting a prior conversation. “We will always end up here.”

Dean’s breaths were coming out ragged, and Sam forced himself to examine his brother closer. He looked terrified, but there was also a look of recognition in his eyes. But Sam had never seen this before and Lucifer seemed far more focused on Dean that him or Cas, which meant...

“This isn’t my nightmare.” Sam said, staring at Dean.

Lucifer spun around and clapped his hands. “Very good, Sam! You see, Dean here went to the future while you were waiting tables as ‘Keith’. The only reason he allowed you back was because you screwed up so bad in a future without him.”

Sam turned back to Dean, who looked pale but didn’t deny anything. His heart clenched, but he forced it down to think about another time. 

Lucifer was watching the scene with glee. “How about you explain what future-you was willing to do, Dean. What you _did_ do.”

Dean looked heart-wrenched, eyes straying from Sam’s confused face to Cas’s, a familiar ache in his chest. The guilt of knowing his future self had willingly sent Cas to die still plagued him sometimes. If he was put in that life now, what would he decide? He tried not to think about it. But he owed Sam and Cas an explanation if they were going to potentially be dying because he couldn’t keep his fear in check.

“Zachariah,” Dean said, voice tight. “He showed me this future and I... I was so hardened. Vicious without need, heartless toward even those I cared about.” Dean’s face looked wrecked as he glanced up at Cas, eyes pleading for forgiveness. “I sent you on a suicide mission, Cas. Used your death as a distraction. I didn’t even talk to you about it beforehand.” Dean’s eyes flickered to Sam’s. “And I didn’t even try to save you, Sam. Just went after the colt and—”

“Dean, stop.” Cas’s voice interrupted Dean’s ramblings, and Lucifer sent a warning look his way. Cas wasn’t looking at either of them, though. He was squinting at the forest where something was seen rushing off. “Sam’s right. I saw the creature. It’s a baku and it amplifies fear so it can feed off of your distress. You’re just giving it more to feed off.” His eyes locked back with Dean’s. “It never happened, but know that any version of me would gladly die if it were to save you and the world. And I know Sam doesn’t blame you for what this future-you did either.”

Sam nodded, meeting Dean’s eyes to make sure his message was clear. “Cas is right. This thing is hunting us the same way we’re hunting it. If we’re going to catch it, we can’t allow these fears to mess with us.”

“If this is your mind’s conjuring, Dean, you should be able to change it,” Cas added, before Lucifer snapped his finger and both his and Sam’s mouth clamped shut. 

“Ah, ah, ah,” Lucifer said. “Can’t have you ruining all the fun, now can we?” He turned back to Dean. “Now how should we do this? Snapping your neck under my foot was certainly fun but I’m thinking something new might be more interesting. Perhaps a bit stronger of a reminder that you’re the one who got these two killed?”

He snapped his fingers and an angel blade appeared in Dean’s hands. Against his will, Dean felt his body moving forward towards Cas and Sam. He fought for control but couldn’t so much as twitch his muscles. The knife came in contact with Cas’s face and Dean internally winced at his hiss as Dean slowly drew a cut along Cas’s cheekbone. 

But Dean knew what he was capable of. Knew this was only the beginning.

“Come on, Dean! Take back control! This isn’t you!” Sam cried, voice getting more panicked as Dean cut another slice on Cas’s other cheek. “Dean!”

Dean wanted to scream back, wanted to snap that he was trying, but nothing was working.

Lucifer tutted. “Oh Sam, you’re forgetting that this most certainly is a part of your brother. Or are you forgetting those ten years he spent torturing souls? You know, Alastair often made them look like you as extra punishment. I’m sure Cas remembers. After all, that’s how he first found Dean.”

Sam looked between his brother and Cas. The first part hadn’t come as a surprise. Lucifer certainly had pretended to be Dean a lot in the cage as well, but he’d never thought about what Cas might have seen when he originally found Dean.

Sam shook his head, trying to clear it. This was just more mind tricks. Mind tricks that they didn’t have time for if the way Dean was studying Cas’s eye was a predictor.

Cas was staring Dean down though, and Dean wondered if he could see through the shell to where Dean was pounding to get free. Cas’s gaze held nothing but forgiveness, and Dean felt nauseous. “It’s okay, Dean. I know you can break free of this.” 

Dean could feel himself getting closer to control. It was like climbing a super slippery hill; he knew he likely would fall any second, but if he could just get to the top... There!

Taking the limited time in control he had, Dean spun around and stabbed Lucifer straight in the chest, breaking his hold on all of them. Quickly checking over Cas and Sam and deeming them good enough, Dean turned towards the building entrance. That was their best bet to change the scene. 

“Come on, that won’t hold him for long,” Dean said, glancing over to see that Sam had grabbed the gun from where it had fallen and Cas was now holding the bloody angel blade. Neither were inclined to stick around any longer either, so the three of them ran off into the building.

As they opened the door, though, they found it led to an outside cemetery. It was way bigger than most and they all entered tentatively. “So, this must be Cas’s nightmare, right?” Dean asked as they continued walking.

“I don’t dream.” Cas responded dismissively, though Dean thought he saw a sliver of something there still. “It’s far more likely that this is either yours or Sam’s.” He turned to Sam and saw him inspecting their friend too, but he shrugged it off, figuring it was just the heightened fear the beast was inducing.

Sam pursed his lips after a moment. “I don’t understand,” he said, and turned to Dean. “You said that the last thing was something from when Zachariah was around and I haven’t thought about Dad like that in... in a while. Why are these nightmares from forever ago?”

Dean’s brow furrowed, having noticed the same pattern but Cas seemed unconcerned, explaining, “The baku resides in the dreamscape, which exists outside of time. It often chooses to use ‘older’ fears that were either buried or repressed as they are the ones people are the least prepared to deal with.”

Both Sam and Dean were silent at that, feeling a little abashed. After walking a little longer, Dean finally spoke up. “So, this cemetery could really mean anything. From some screwy metaphor to a first hunt. That’s reassuring.”

Cas shifted, seeming slightly uncomfortable with the idea but Sam just snorted. “Yeah, feels like a lot of ammo against us—”

He cut off as Cas raised his hand, clearly sensing something. They all gazed in the same direction Cas was staring at, and the longer Sam stared, the more he thought he saw an elephant trunk in the darkness. An elephant trunk attached to a mostly humanoid body. 

They had found it.

It seemed frozen by their stares, not even twitching as Cas slowly moved closer. He was baring his angel blade and Sam realised what he was planning at the last second. Watching Cas tense to leap, Sam shouted, “Cas, no!”

But it was too late. Cas launched himself at the creature, stabbing the blade into the baku’s back. Dean cursed, grabbing the gun from Sam, but there was no opening. Cas was trying to dislodge the angel blade but was too close to the creature. The baku disappeared a moment later, taking Cas and the angel blade with it.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The brothers continue through the dreamscape to try to find Cas and the baku.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Art Masterpost](https://sketching-fox.tumblr.com/post/630162917535432705/my-arts-done-for-the-fic-but-memories-last)  
> Gio's [tumblr](https://sketching-fox.tumblr.com/) and [twitter](https://twitter.com/Gio_Gui).

Dean threw the useless gun to the ground. “Son of a— Is he trying to get himself killed?”

Sam watched where they had disappeared in frustration before spinning around, looking for anywhere to go. The door they came through was long gone and now they were surrounded by darkness and graves. Though that wasn’t all. 

Now that Sam was focusing on it, he realized there were wispy forms rising from the ground. “Dean...” He said, knowing his brother would hear the warning in his voice.

True enough, Dean immediately snapped his gaze up and cursed. “Are those spirits? I can barely see them.”

Sam took a deep breath. They were seriously screwed. No lights, no salt, no anything. “Yeah,” he said. “Looks like it.”

But the spirits that they could make out didn’t seem to be attacking or even particularly interested in them. Instead, they were drifting around mindlessly as if lost.

“Do you know where my mommy went?” 

The voice came from behind, startling the brothers. They could make out the basic features this close. It was a young girl, probably around five or six, and wearing a onesie with cartoons on it. Her head was mostly bald, and she hugged her middle like she was scared. It was clear from the slightest glow coming off her that this was a ghost, but she didn’t seem aware of it. 

Dean and Sam shared a look, more of a glance since they could barely see each other, and turned back to the girl. Dean took a step forward, crouching to be at the girl’s height. “What’s your name, sweetheart?”

“Penny,” she replied. “My daddy said that my mommy would be here waiting for me, but I can’t find her. She’s supposed to take me to the good place.”

Dean took a deep breath, hating that child ghosts were even a thing, but forcing himself to remain chipper. “I’m Dean, and this is my brother, Sam. We’re gonna help you find your mom, okay? Do you know if she’s also,” Dean hesitated, not wanting to be blunt. “...also lost?”

Sam cleared his throat pointedly and Dean glared. Dean wasn’t hearing any better ideas and all the other areas had required them to actually get to the nightmare part before they could move on, so this was probably the best step they could take in order to get to Cas.

The little girl shook her head. “No, she’s not here. She’s already at the good place. I think everyone here is lost too. Most of them are angry, though.”

Dean heard Sam draw a breath at that and couldn’t blame him. If all of these ghosts were vengeful, they were screwed. “Are you angry?”

The girl considered that for a moment before shaking her head. “No. Not the way the others are. I’m sad that I can’t find my mommy, but the others think someone did this to them.”

Sam took that as a chance to jump in. “Did this to them? Like, made them lost and forced them here?”

Penny nodded enthusiastically. “Yeah, but I know they’re wrong. They say it’s an angel’s fault that they can’t get to the good place, but mommy always said angels are good so I know they’re lying.”

Dean and Sam both tensed at that, and Dean stood back up. “You think this is Cas’s fear?” Sam asked quietly.

Dean rubbed a hand over his face. “Yeah, probably.” His voice took on a growl. “I bet that has something to do with Cas being so eager to launch himself at the baku too.”

Sam could hear the frustration in Dean’s voice and didn’t disagree, but he also wasn’t certain they had this right. “But Cas never killed and pissed off this many people, did he?” Speaking to Penny, he asked, “What else do the other lost people say?”

She looked thoughtful. “Well, some say that the angels can’t let us in anymore, and others say that angels abandoned us. I know the second one is wrong, but the first sounds like it could be true. My daddy told me sometimes at work they have to make people wait because there’s too many in line, so maybe the angels are making us wait because too many people want to go to the good place right now.”

Sam was barely listening to her, now taking in their surroundings with newfound understanding. Looking over the neverending graves and spirits, he didn’t like the conclusion he came to. “This must be from when all the angels fell. Does Cas feel responsible for all of these souls?”

Dean was looking around, seeming to be thinking along the same lines. “Guess so,” he said heavily. “Man, and I kicked him out of the bunker practically as soon as it happened. No wonder he never talked about it.”

“Yeah,” Sam said, turning his attention back to the girl, only to find she was gone. Quickly looking around, he asked, “Where’d she go?”

Dean looked around, equally startled, but she seemed to have just disappeared into the air. Which, considering her ghost status, wasn’t absurd. 

The figures around them were starting to talk now. Their conversations blended into each other but Dean could make out phrases like “angel” and “betrayed humanity” and “all his fault”. The voices were a lot and Dean was slightly relieved Cas wasn’t here to hear it. Though it seemed like Cas wasn’t a stranger to any of these ideas. After all, Cas himself said that baku tended to pick repressed fears. It seemed like Cas was getting better at hiding and pushing these things down like a true Winchester. The thought made Dean snort.

As the voices got louder, the wind picked up and started pulling the headstones from the ground. They started swirling and one clipped Dean’s shoulder, sending him to the ground. Before he even had the chance to process it, a hand was pulling him up by his good arm. 

“Come on!” Sam shouted over the escalating wind. “We gotta get out of here and I think I see a gate over there!”

They started running, dodging bits of headstone and debris along the way. The voices and threats for their friend were only getting louder, but they could see clearly now that there was, in fact, a gate in front of them. 

Beside Dean, Sam faltered and Dean found himself pulling his brother along. “Sam, we gotta go! What are you—?”

He turned to see the ghost of Kevin standing there, looking both hurt and angry. Dean growled. Was there any member of their messed up family that didn’t feel responsible for his death? He’d make sure to kill this baku as soon as he found it, but right now they didn’t have time for this. “Sam, it’s not him. Come on!”

Dean pulled on his brother’s arm and Sam staggered back into a run. They made it through the gate and the world transformed around them. This new place was darker in color, but they could see much better. It seemed like the walls were made out of stone and the silence in comparison to the last area was deafening. 

Dean turned to Sam to check how he was faring after seeing Kevin’s ghost. Instead of the guilty expression Dean expected to find there, though, was one of confusion mixed with the look Sam got whenever he got stuck in his own head. “Sammy?” Dean asked, slightly concerned at his brother’s far away look. “You with me?”

Sam shook his head, then looked up at Dean with determination. “The baku is in my memories, Dean.”

Dean raised his eyebrows, not reassured by the response. “Haven’t we already established that?”

Sam shook his head vigorously. “No, not just in my head, but my memories. I can tell where he and Cas are.” Sam swallowed thickly. “I think the baku is purposefully picking the bad ones to try to distract us, but the fears I’ve seen have been based on the memories the baku has visited. Therefore...”

He looked at Dean, hoping that his train of thought made sense. Dean was totally following now and had his own determined smile on his face. He finished the sentence for him. “Therefore we move through the memory areas as quickly as possible and eventually we’ll catch up with them.”

Sam returned the smile and nodded.

The smile was gone as soon as it came, though. Glancing at the stone walls surrounding them, Sam blanched. This was far too recent a memory, but Sam knew where they would find the next door. Pulling Dean down the winding stairs they now stood on, he said, “Come on, this way.”

Dean’s eyes widened as he recognized the walls. They looked the same as the ones in when he was in Hell, but Sam seemed convinced that this was his nightmare, not Dean’s. That only meant one thing and Dean fought the irritation that tried to rise. “Sam...”

“Look, I don’t need another lecture about how this isn’t God, Dean. I just—”

He cut off as they rounded the corner and found Lucifer in Nick’s body waiting for them in a cage lined with flames. “Long time no see, bunk buddy.”

Dean growled, but Sam ignored it, frantically looking around the room. “We have to enter the cage. That’s the fear and it won’t let us through before that.”

Dean frowned, hearing the panic in his voice that Sam was refusing to show topside. “Whoa, man.” He grabbed Sam’s arms to force his brother to stay still for a moment. “Take a breath. I thought you _wanted_ to follow your,” he paused, not sure how to phrase it before finally rolling his eyes and going with, “your God-visions or whatever. You’ve been begging me to allow you down here for weeks now. Are you really sure going _in_ the cage is the fear?”

Sam just nodded, eyes darting around the room for anything to help them enter the seemingly doorless cage.

“Woooooow,” Lucifer laughed, watching the too with amusement. “I didn’t think you could get any denser than you were five years ago, Dean, but you’ve obviously proved me wrong. Even I can tell what this is about and I’m about as unemotionally perceptive as you get. Though I guess I have known Sam longer than you in the long run, so maybe I just know him better than you.”

Dean ignored the discomfort that sentiment created and glanced over to his brother, who was trying hard not to react, but Dean could still see the tension in his shoulders. “Sam?”

“It’s nothing, Dean. Help me find the entrance.” It certainly wasn’t Sam’s smoothest topic shift, and Dean walked over. 

“Look man, maybe we should think about this a bit more.” He wasn’t liking the crazed look in his brother’s eyes as he continued to assess the room.

“Yeah, Sam. Tell your brother why you really think God wants you in the cage. Explain how you need to pay the penance for ending the word _again_. After all, that’s why God saved you when you first set me free, right? And now with saving you from the infection, only to send you back down here to me now? Dad always was a fan of ultimate sacrifice.”

“Shut up!” Sam yelled, breathing fast.

Dean’s head spun from that. Sam had been fighting him about going to the cage to what? Atone for some mistake he had much responsibility for? “Sam, what’s he talking about? You know this isn’t on you.”

Sam met his eyes for the first time since they entered this nightmare, face twisted in something akin to remorse. “That’s not what you said back at that hospital.”

“No, I said this was on _us_. Both of us. And we’ll take it out together just like we always do.” 

Sam’s expression reflected doubt, but he didn’t say anything.

“Aw, don’t you hate it when he does that, Sam? Says one thing then acts like it never happened? And the complete lack of trust he has in you, bunk buddy. Absolutely _heartbreaking_. Though I guess you have started the apocalypse a couple times, so that might be warranted.”

“Shut up!” It was both brothers to say it this time.

Dean walked closer to Sam, trying for a semblance of privacy. The devil had no right to be screwing with Sam’s insecurities like this. “Sam, that’s not—”

“It’s the fire.”

Dean cut off, not expecting that response. “What?”

Sam wasn’t looking at him, but was facing in the direction of the cage. “The fire, it has to be the door. We have to walk through it.”

“Are you crazy?” Dean looked over to the fire burning vibrantly around the cage. “Sam, that’s suicide!”

Sam threw his arms in the air. “There’s nothing else in here, Dean! Cas needs us and I’m not seeing any other options. Are you?”

Dean glanced around the otherwise empty room and had to admit that point. “But—”

“Look, you were about to tell me he was wrong, right? That you do trust me?” 

Sam met his eyes steadily, but Dean could see a flicker of fear under it. Hating that his brother still felt this way, Dean nodded firmly.

“Then trust me on this. I’m sure.”

Dean glanced back over to the flames where Lucifer was making the ‘come hither’ motion with his finger before glancing back. Sam was right that they didn’t have time for this and Dean really didn’t have any better ideas.

“Fine.” he said grudgingly. “Let’s do it.”

Lucifer smiled as they both approached, side by side. “Wow, Sammy. You always were a bit self-sacrificial but this is extreme even for you. And dragging Dean down with ya? I think I’m with God on this ‘penance left to pay’ idea.”

Dean placed a hand on Sam’s shoulder and squeezed, sending a final glare at the devil as they walked into the flames.

Both Sam and Dean breathed sighs of relief as they found themselves not dead and no longer in the cage. Though, what new memory this was, neither knew. They were in a hospital, but both of them had such bad luck with hospitals that neither knew whose fear this was or what this was supposed to be. That was until a young boy called out “Mom, you’re awake!” from the other room.

Sam tried not to look at Dean, but he could feel his brother tense next to him. That was Ben. Which meant this was the hospital where Dean had said goodbye. 

“Mom...? Wait, no—!” Ben’s voice sounded scared and Dean started to rush after it, but Sam grabbed his arm.

“What?” Dean snapped, clearly not appreciating this raw wound being so viciously reopened. “It’s a doorway. That’s how we get to the next memory.”

Sam pursed his lips. He knew the pain Dean still buried about them. He knew the guilt and hope that was all twisted up inside him. He knew and he wanted to help everyday, but he had always respected Dean’s wish that they never talk about them. Not once in the last five years had they been brought up, but now he was going to have to break that silence. Dean had done the same just a moment before, so now it was Sam’s turn.

“Dean,” he started, knowing how much this would hurt his brother but knowing it was necessary. “Is your fear that they’ll need you and that you’ll go rescue them? Or is your fear that you won’t be there when they need you?”

Sam braced himself for a punch. The pain in Dean’s eyes was vivid and Sam would happily take a punch if it took that vulnerable look away, but nothing came. Dean’s eyes were wet and his jaw clenched, but he nodded. Purposefully turning his back on the cries of pain from the other room, he turned toward the door with the exit sign.

Sam could see Dean was trying to get himself under control, so Sam took the first step, forcing Dean to move forward. As much as Sam hated the way this creature was twisting he and his brother’s trauma into some game, there was a part of Sam that hoped maybe this would allow Dean to work through his grief about Lisa and Ben better. Maybe even allow Sam to help.

With that, they pushed past the exit door and into an alley. They were outside in some nameless area, but neither brother was concerned about the nightmare this time, because Cas was there waiting for them.

“Cas!” Sam called, racing forward. “What were you thinking earlier? A baku can only be killed by a wooden stake and I’m pretty sure you knew that. You could’ve gotten yourself killed!” Truthfully, Sam was relieved Cas was okay, but as per the Winchester way, it bubbled out in anger.

Dean approached a bit slower, but he was glancing around the place with a look of suspicion on his face. 

Sam turned back to Cas, who hadn’t spoken yet, to find an unsettling determination on his face. “Rest assured, when this is all over, I will save Sam. But only if you stand down.”

Sam frowned as Cas stepped towards him. “What? Cas—”

“Sammy!” Dean shouted, but the warning came too late.

Cas started to reach out his hand to Sam’s forehead and the memory came back to Sam too late to move out of the way. This wasn’t their Cas.

Just as the fingers were about to connect, Sam felt Dean slam into him, throwing him into the cement ground. He turned to see a confused looking Cas standing over a writhing Dean. 

“Dean!” Sam cried, racing over to his fallen brother, who was now shaking and whimpering on the ground. He remembered Dean talking about Sam’s hell-seizure and he’d seen the terror in his eyes as he recounted the experience. Now that Sam was watching his own brother convulse, completely helpless to stop it, he understood that terror with a newfound clarity. That touch had brought down Sam’s wall, but Dean didn’t have a wall. Who knew what this was doing to his brother?

Looking up, Sam found the memory Cas gone. He couldn’t tell whose nightmare they were stuck in, but this had to count as facing it, right? He had to find the door. Maybe that would stop whatever this was.

Glancing around, Sam sighed out a breath of relief when he saw a doorway into the building a few yards away. He crouched next to his still writhing brother tentatively. His brain was screaming at him that you weren’t supposed to move someone having a seizure, but this wasn’t exactly a seizure and if moving the person was the only way to stop it, that would be the best thing to do, right?

Sam carefully slipped his arms around his torso and legs, hugging him close to his chest to make sure his brother’s jerking didn’t loosen his grip. Normally, a fireman’s hold was the easiest way to carry Dean, but he couldn’t hold him securely enough in that position. Sam briefly wondered if he had flailed like this when his wall had been destroyed or if he’d just fallen boneless. As much as Sam hated the broken whimpers and pleas coming from his brother, the thought of a completely motionless, barely breathing Dean was even scarier.

Grunting with the strain of carrying and securing his brother, Sam pushed his way to the door and used his knee to open it. Rushing in, he was relieved when Dean’s body stilled as soon as they passed through.

The space they entered was rapidly changing around them, but Sam hardly noticed. “Dean? Dean, are you with me?”

Dean took a harsh breath in like it was the first he’d had in days, but nodded. “Yeah,” he said, voice sounding raw. “I’m good.”

On Dean’s insistence, Sam helped him to his feet, his hand lingering on his shoulder for an extra moment in case he needed steadying. “What happened?” Sam asked, hesitantly.

Dean forced a smile that Sam had learned to equate with a grimace more than anything else. “Just a clipshow of a few greatest hits, but nothing I can’t handle.” At seeing his brother’s concerned look, he added, “Look, you snapped me out of it pretty quickly. I’m really fine.”

Sam pursed his lips, knowing what that really meant was that Dean could push it down until later, but he didn’t comment. Taking a look around at their ever-changing surroundings, Dean asked, “What’s going on with the greenscreen?”

Sam looked around, a crease of tension between his eyebrows. “I’m not sure. Maybe this means—” Sam cut off as he got a glimpse of Cas and the baku fighting in one of the scenes. “There! Did you see that?”

Dean looked behind him where Sam was pointing, seeing a glimpse of the angel and the creature every few seconds. Though it seemed like the intervals were getting closer. Turning back to say that very thing, Dean found Sam with hands gripping his head. “Sam?”

Sam was taking deep, purposeful breaths, trying to sort through the pain.

“Sam, what’s happening?” Dean asked, distress clear in his voice. The image was nearly whole now and Dean’s attention was split between Cas’s fight and Sam.

Sam groaned, the pain bringing him to his knees. “I don’t know. It just, it just started.” He forced his eyes open and saw that their surroundings had solidified, and Cas was struggling against the baku only a few yards away. Fireworks streaked across the sky in a field familiar to both the boys from their childhood. Sam could feel the Impala’s smooth metal against his back. “Go help Cas. I’m fine.” Sam said, giving a tight smile.

“Cas!” Dean called as one of the baku’s claws raked over Cas’s shoulder. Cas was blocking the blows best he could with the angel blade but it seemed to be doing little good in the long run. Sparing one final glance as his hurting brother, Dean rushed into the fight.

“Dean,” Cas said, tone filled with relief. He glanced over and saw Sam hunched on the ground and the relief quickly faded. “Is Sam alright?”

They continued to dodge the baku’s attacks as they spoke. While it’s claws were sharp, it was clear the baku wasn’t used to physically fighting its victims. It gave them both a chance to glance back towards Sam every once in a while, who didn’t seem to be getting any better. “I don’t know.” Dean called, barely avoiding the baku’s swinging trunk. “It started as soon as this place started to form. Maybe it’s a part of the nightmare?”

Another firework exploded overhead and Dean took a moment to look at their surroundings a bit more clearly. He definitely wouldn’t have considered this a nightmare, though he supposed Sam had made it more than clear all those years ago that Sam and Dean’s happiest memories were very different.

Dean shoved the bitter feelings away, knowing they weren’t true but the old hurt was fighting back in full force. 

Cas shook his head, though, a look of concerned contemplation on his face. “I think the baku is moving on to Sam’s good memories.”

“But that’s the last step,” Dean realised. His eyes widened, and he looked over to see his brother now in a ball by the car, hands and arms squeezing against his head.

Cas looked back intensely. “We must kill the baku now, before it can kill Sam.”

Dean watched as the angel blade barely slowed the creature down. “How? Sam said bakus can only be killed by a stake, and I’m pretty sure it needs to be dipped in lamb’s blood, too. Even if we could find a tree branch to break off, I don’t see any sheep around here.”

Cas narrowly avoided the baku’s claws, landing next to Dean. He turned to him while the baku recovered its balance, speaking quickly. “You have to get Sam to conjure the stake. It’s his mind. He should be able to do it.”

Dean balked at the idea of leaving Cas again to fight this thing, but after watching Cas stab the creature with little luck, Dean knew it was their best shot.

Dean rushed back to his brother’s side, gently pulling at the arms scratching at Sam’s head. “Hey, hey, slow it down, brother. You can do this. We’re going to save you, but you need to give us a weapon first.”

Sam’s eyes opened as slits, but shut again immediately, the light clearly only aggravating his headache. As much as Dean hated this, he was relieved that Sam was at least aware of his presence.

Taking a hand in his, Dean said. “Okay, no talking. I can work with that. Squeeze once for yes, two for no. Can you understand me?”

There was a pause where Dean’s heart thudded loudly in his ears before a single, weak squeeze. “Attaboy,” Dean said proudly. “Now this may be tricky, but we need you to summon a stake dipped in lamb’s blood. It’s the only thing that can get us out of here. You think you can do that?”

The wait was even longer this time and Dean started to wonder if his brother was too out of it when he felt a slow, strong squeeze. Dean smiled, feeling his brother’s stubborn streak through his hand. 

Before Dean could comment, a cry of pain rang out again, and both Dean and Sam flinched. Dean looked up to see the baku slowly stalking toward a dazed Cas. 

Desperation overtook him, and he turned back to Sam. “Come on, man. We need this thing now. Cas is gonna die any second if you don’t get the stake!” The words were harsher than he meant, but they were true and apparently just what Sam needed. Sam’s hand went slack in his just as a bloody stake appeared in the grass in front of Dean.

He picked it up and started running to Cas, mind split between worry for his collapsed brother and his trapped friend. The baku growled, now in front of Cas, and Dean knew he was still too far away. 

“Cas!” He yelled, throwing the stake for all he was worth. It hit the ground a foot away from Cas, leaving a bloody trail from where it rolled. 

The baku noticed too, and raised it’s claw for a final blow. With a grunt of pain, Cas grabbed the stake and drove it upward with all his might. The baku froze, claws inches from raking Cas’s chest. 

They barely had a chance to process it before they’re suddenly back in the real world. 

Dean’s eyes darted around, glad to find a pale, but otherwise unharmed Cas slumped next to him. He barely had a chance to breathe a sigh of relief before his heart was back in his throat, though, as his gaze fell on his still unconscious little brother. “Sam?”

A black mist seemed to be oozing out of him before seeping into the ground.

Dean jumped to his feet, but Cas already had two fingers pressed to Sam’s head and a relieved look on his face. “He’s only sleeping from the fever. The creature is dead.”

Dean sat back down on the bed, taking a moment to allow his pounding heart to calm down. Now that the danger was gone, his mind was trying to process all the recent trauma just brought up. Pushing it back down to address later, Dean focused back on Cas and asked, “What were you thinking, going after that thing alone?”

Cas gave Dean an odd look. “I was thinking that we couldn’t let it get away.”

Dean ran a hand over his face, the picture of exhaustion, before looking back up at him. “And it had nothing to do with that graveyard we were in?”  
Even with Cas’s normal uptightness, Dean could see the shift as his words hit, and he continued, “Because that wasn’t mine or Sammy’s, and seeing as they were talking about an ‘angel’ you seem like the best candidate.”

Castiel remained stone-faced for another moment before closing his eyes and letting his shoulders slump. “When I was human, I needed sleep. It doesn’t not surprise me that the baku was able to latch onto that dream–it was not an uncommon one.”

“Man, why didn’t you—” Dean cut off, remembering just why Cas hadn’t told him. He’d taken Gadreel’s advice and essentially kicked him out. Cas had basically been on his own during his transition. Well, the baku was picking repressed fears, right? So might as well deal with what they could right now. “I’m sorry I kicked you out of the bunker. I didn’t want to and I really didn’t mean for it to be as long as it was.”

Cas straightened, face stoic. “You believed it was what was needed to save Sam. I understand—”

Dean cut him off with a sharp shake of the head. “I should have at least kept better tabs on you, made sure you were dealing okay with the whole ‘being human’ thing alright.”

Cas had a frown on his face and he looked ready to argue further, so Dean held up his hand. “Look, I’m not saying this in guilt. I mean, yeah, we shouldn’t have shut you out more, but I’m saying this now so you know you can come to us with that kind of stuff in the future. This road isn’t easy and the guilt can eat you alive. It would’ve consumed Sam and I forever ago if we didn’t have each other. Everyone needs reminding that it wasn’t their fault every once in a while.”

Cas looked away, unable to meet Dean’s eyes. “I cut off my entire family from our home, potentially doomed thousands of souls. How can I expect forgiveness for that?”

“I set free Lucifer, dooming the entire planet.”

The weak voice took both Cas and Dean by surprise, and they looked over to find a sweaty Sam propping himself up. 

“We’ve all made mistakes–big ones. But we do what we can to solve them and then deal with what we can’t together.”

Cas nodded, though he wasn’t fully convinced. “What did you guys face while I was with the baku?”

Dean’s fist tightened and Sam paled. “Nothing worth remembering,” Dean finally said.

“Dean,” Sam said softly, not sure where the new line was with Lisa or what his brother had experienced during his seizure, but knowing that if it was buried now, there’d be no addressing it in the future.

“Sam is right,” Cas added. “Repressing your fears and memories is what gave the baku so much power over us in the first place.”

Dean shrugged, not wanting to think about his hell-flashback or Ben’s cries of pain. “It sucked, but it wasn’t real. Nothing we can do about it now.”

Both Sam and Cas gave disapproving looks at that, and Dean continued a little harsher, “I can handle it.”

“Weren’t you the one just advocating the power of friendship in these things?”

Dean cringed at Cas’s description, especially at the way Sam was smirking at him, but it wasn’t wrong. Maybe Dean could afford to speak up a bit more. “Fine. We can have more sharing and caring sessions if I start having a hard time with nightmares or dealing or something, okay?”

Sam sighed, not looking satisfied but knowing that was all they were going to get from him.

The sound made Dean spin to face him, glad to get the spotlight off himself. “Don’t give me that, Mr. God-wants-me-to-pay-my-penance! Is that really what your determination of going to the Cage is about?”

Sam glared at him. “I want to stop the Darkness, and this is a lead.”

“And if you get to suffer and “pay for your mistakes,” that’s just the icing on the cake, huh?”

Sam threw his hands up, his fever making the movements uncoordinated. “Of course not, Dean! Do you really think the baku would have used it as this paralysing nightmare if I _wanted_ it?”

“No, but it did get the idea from you, Sam.” Castiel’s calm voice made both boys go silent. “So, the question is why would you think that?”

Sam looked away, the flush of his cheeks making Dean want to check his fever, but knowing that would shut his brother down immediately. Finally, Sam said, “It’s what happened last time God saved me.”

Dean thought back to when he and Sam were thrown on that plane after Lucifer was freed, watching his brother jump into the pit later that year. It was just the kind of messed up conclusion Sam’s mind would come up with.

“Sam, any penance you owed has been paid doubly at this point,” Cas said gently, and Sam gave a small smile.

“Most days I can believe that, but sometimes it’s just hard to see.”

There was a moment of silence, everyone too familiar with that experience.

Finally, Dean broke the silence. “Well, aren’t we such a fun bunch.”

Sam snorted a thick laugh. “You aren’t a Winchester without a crap-load of emotional baggage.”

Dean smiled back, but it soon dropped as he noticed a tinge of sadness in Cas’s face. 

“We should get back to the bunker. This experience used some of my grace and I’m afraid it likely has elongated my recovery time.”

The words made Dean frown, but there was also something there beyond them that Dean was picking up on. He shared a look with Sam, who felt a similar discomfort.

“Cas, you know you’re part of our family, right?”

Dean immediately knew where Sam was going with this, and added, “Winchester in everything but blood.”

Cas looked slightly taken aback, but the smile he returned was far more genuine this time. “I care for you both as family as well.”

“Good,” Dean said with an air of finality. “Cause this messed-up family has got a lot of work ahead of them if they’re going to stop the apocalypse again.”

They each smiled, hope back in their eyes. Things weren’t solved, and the after effects of the memories dragged up would need to be dealt with in time, but Team Free Will was back on the same page for the first time in a long while. And as the past had shown, that was all they needed to save the world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading! This story was honestly so much fun to write, haha. I'd love to hear your thoughts if you have a moment!

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Please leave a comment or kudos if you have a moment! <3


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